This is a piece of writing that I made during June 08, when I was down with chicken-pox and in-house training was going on in college…I was missing my friends and college so much, that you’ll find out when you read this…(whatever you call it!)
I’d like to tell you a story my friend. A story of which we are a part, a story that is unfinished yet, a story that has and will change our lives, but, we know that we are the ones who will write the last
My story starts off in the Land of Bijwasanople, known as the village of the “Jatans” (almost Spartans) and of the “great geeks” (not greeks!) . It lies in a place beyond the plains that belong to the dragons, where they take their flight every now and then. They are usually harmless, only as long as they’re in the air!
Getting back to Bijwasanople, this is where our mighty palace of Asetonia lies, ruled by the evil and treacherous secret society by the name of ‘The Fukalty’. The palace in itself is built extremely deceptively to guard against enemies (like AICTE), appearing to the normal eye to be just a big house, whereas it houses an army of a number beyond a thousand. It remains surrounded by a small moat (a continous and thin water body) in all seasons, wether in rain or not. They say, that there is a legend than the water around the palace never dries up because of a curse that makes water rise up from the ground instead of going into it!
Inside the palace reside the loyal servants of The Fukalty , who day and night are submerged in practices of black magic and read the black and unholy books of curses and devilish weapon-making! They are the deadliest of men and women, deceptive in looks but powerful in ranks (know what i mean?). They look small and weak but cannot be
beaten without brains!!
And behind the palace lies Canteenopia, the gathering place of the Rebels, the ones who are brave enough to resist the treacheries of the evil king, the place where the rebels train themselves through a martial art called Cricket-Kung-Fu , devoting themselves to the different forms of this sacred Martial Art. There are three main forms- the Batsman Form,
the Bowler Form and the Fielder Form, although the first two are offensive and the third is defensive, hence ignored by most. A constant war keeps waging between these two clans.
This, is where I come in….My name is Eeshanicus, Captain of the CS army(CS-Cricket-Kung-Fu Soldiers) and also have the title of Lord Download (dont have to explain that!). This title I have earned through my acts of bravery as in the case of the batlle that we fought recently inside the palace, it was an attemped brainwash activity of the Fukalty, but luckily we escaped unharmed. In Cricket-Kung-Fu, my area of expertise is the leg break bowler form. In this, I have reached an undisputed rank, such that there is no warrior who can better me. My special weapon is the same as that of The Fukalty, ‘Deception’, both in Cricket-Kung-Fu and inside the palace. I know the minds of the servants of the Fukalty and I can think and work like them.
As any captain would say, “I am incomplete without my men”, so am I. I have the honor of commanding the deadliest legion of warriors known to man or demon, each having a unique special power that makes them all the more dangerous and difficult for the enemy to anticipate. I shall now describe them hoping not to forget anyone….
I start with the strongest of my men, Mrigankus Musculus, with nerves of steel and muscles of iron, having the strength of a full-grown three horned Rhinoceros. Though not so rich in the contents of his head, he is extremely loyal and all others respect him, perhaps out of fear as he also has a temper as short as his head. His weapon is a black, small slab, rectangular in shape. This ingeniously forged weapon aids in intelligence rather than actual combat. I sometimes suspect that it could well be his brain that he keeps in there, for he requires no weapon with all that strength.
Then I have in my allegience a most versatile and unique warrior by the name of Karticus Dancikus. His main weapon is ‘Aversion’. He has a peculiar way of moving his body in all sorts of directions and positions, also accompanied with many strange voices, that it has a sort of intoxicating effect on the enemy and averts the danger altogether. A very useful tactic when you’re waitng for backup in the middle of a war. By the way, his partners are the very charming and handsome Stacy Williams from the land of Najafgreece and the pocket size artillery Prashantus Explodicus. Pure as he is, Stacy Williams’ main weapon is corruption. He kills his enemies by way of corruption of the highest and the most
unimaginable degree (you know what i’m talkin about). He’s often nicknamed Deadly Stacy!!! On the other hand Prashantus is a sort of inexhaustible explosive, he can explode any number of times in a day and live to tell the tale. (did someone say muthu raja?)
Now I come to tell you about my most popular warrior, namely, Atulius Kumarus, also known as the ‘The Long Horn’. In him lies a potential for unbelievable power but prefers Public Transport over anything else (anybody hear DTC?).I can tell you one thing for sure about his abilities that, I am completely unsure of his abilities. He never withdraws from any battle but never indulges in one either!
Akhilus Sabotagicus, the undisputed king of sabotage. He is my most dangerous tactical weapon, almost unbeatable at the war of words or wits, he can make a goof out of any man even before he knows it!
My army also has a veteran of war, namely Tarunio Mittalio. The grand-old man has seen many a war and keeps giving us his advice which turns out to be useless most of the times. But at least we get to know what not to do!! Although I do not consider Mohitus Bhaticus Gujjaricus a veteran, but Akhilus and Kartikus regard him as the greatest and the longest living warroir of all time!!
I even have two Horsemen in my army. One is the small and compact Mukulus with his silver stallion, and normally provides the smoke for cover. The other is a large man Sharadicles with his large horse, who usually reminds me of Mrigankus. Both of them are speed demons!!!
There are two more warriors of whom i havent spoken yet. The first one, Shashantus is another of my pocket-sized dynamos and a true master of Cricket-Kung-Fu in both batsman form and the bowler form. A fierce fighter and most trustworthy although has a little weakness of easily succumbing to tempations (you know which!).The other one,
Bansalus ,however is quite weak in our martial art but has the brain of a genius, speaking of genius, his character is very homo-genius as well. Frankly speaking he is unlike any one of us, and has surpassed all of us in his power of discrimination. He looks towards every one as equals, everyone as a man, everyone!
Thats all for my army, but The Fukalty is headed by He Who Must Not Be Named!! His army is at the moment, i am sorry to say, more fowerful than mine, just because they have the authority. But, a day will come when all this will end and the Cricket-Kung-Fu warriors will overthrow the Fukalty and re-establish ourselves as the rightful owners of
Asetonia. As I said in the beginning, this story is incomplete , rather the epic is just beginning, there is one more year we have to live like rebels until ‘The Placement’ and after that……you know it!!!!
This was an Eeshanism!!!