Here we see our lives,
Through the glasses of fantasy,
In the pure light of truth,
As what we are and what we can be,
The story continues with a dose of nostalgia,
We are back,
We’re the Knights of Asetonia!!
Well, Lord Eeshanicus can write poetry as well!! I have many more qualities by the way; after all, that’s why I am called ‘Lord’ of the Knights. Anyway, that’s enough self-flattery for the moment, I’ll get more chances to admire myself as you read on.
The sacred land of Bijwasanople still stands peacefully on the borders of the Jatan country, Najafgreece and the powerful ally nation of Delhindell. And our palace of Asetonia still stands out like a gem, surrounded by the same monstrous moat, and guarded by the Cricket-Kung-Fu warriors from Canteenopia and RoofTopia. The Evil Fukalty still has some control over the palace and their loyal servants still pathetically obey to their will and lead their miserable studious lives. This is what has remained the same, but there been some welcome changes as well. For instance, we have captured the highest level of the palace, known as RoofTopia, to provide intensive Cricket-Kung-Fu training to the knights. Control of RoofTopia was gained gradually over the years, because in the beginning, the Fukalty used to play cheap tricks on us to keep us away from there. Once a wicked Fukalty sorcerer named Proctorus captured a few knights and me and took us to the dungeons of the filthy Pankajio, who casted filthy spells on us, abused us, harassed us and tortured us with his terrible, terrible voice, but we survived for the sake of our beloved Asetonia. We were then banished from RoofTopia, they even took our signatures on a deadly contract named, ‘The Application’, that has a penalty of getting us banished from the ‘placement’ grounds if it was broken. But, as expected, our dedication to the art of Cricket-Kung-Fu was greater than any filth that those sorcerers can conjure, and we returned, we trained harder, we became stronger and fearless. We survived more attacks and now we have taken it!!
That’s all for the palace, but what of the knights, what have become of them? Do they still have their special abilities, or have they lost touch over the years? Well, only one person can answer these questions, me! Only Lord Eeshanicus knows the knights like the back of his hand, because I have that penetrating power of observation and wisdom unparalleled that can truly tell the qualities of a knight of Asetonia. (Told you, I’ll admire myself! One of the advantages of being the author…you OWN the place!! Ha Ha)
I am visionary leader, you know, so I recruited a few more Knights since last time and I’ll you all about them now. My knights have undergone changes of character that I could not perceive during the last account, but I have learned more than enough by now. I have already told you what my knights are capable of but now I will tell you what they are from the inside. The revelations begin…
I begin once again with the great Mrigankus Musculus. Big, bad and strong, the duke of Vasant Morgul strikes fear in the hearts of strangers and enemies, but not for fellow knights. We know that he is soft and gentle from the inside, except his brain, which I have seen from my superior vision is a very dense, small and rusted piece of machinery, usually substituted by his small black box weapon. But his inadequacy of brain does not take anything away from him, rather I believe, because of this; he has an unshakable determination of completing a task if he sets his mind to it. The only problem is that it takes unshakable will from my side to set his mind to a thing. He is a strong weapon during battle, but can become a double edged sword too. How’s that? Mrigankus is a keen lover of beverages, and likes mixing and drinking. I know it, I still get the chills when I think about it, but I must not hide it from you. When the mixtures go bad, Mrigankus spews LIQUID FIRE out of his mouth, with such force that once some of it went as far as Najafgreece and fell right on top of its Duke Stacy Williams mansion, and burned away the whole roof!! This liquid fire is the deadliest weapon on earth, but can be devastating if his mouth is turned the other way, so we all discouraged him to do it again, and this attack is now a Forbidden Attack. The good Mrigankus listened to us and immediately left his habit, with the same unshakable will of Fire! He is most responsive to my orders and I am the only who can get him to do something when the others fail.
The next knight is a new recruit, but by the far the most powerful and wise among all the other knights, inferior only to me, the Lord. He is known as The Big Sardarus, Shuriken Singh. He has intimidating looks, strength that surpasses all, even me, wisdom that surpasses all knights but not even close to me, he is my strongest Knight. I found him in a far away field of Canteenopia, where he trained in the art of Volley-Kung-Fu. To my dismay, I soon found out, he had no skill whatsoever in our sacred art of Cricket-Kung-Fu, but as smart as I am, I knew the kid had more than just met the eye. He is openly hostile to the Fukalty as anybody in the palace. The other knights are spies cloaked as the Fukalty’s slaves, so we often visit the Fukalty dungeons where they cast spells on us and we survive. But Shuriken Singh rarely came to their dungeons, unafraid of any banishment and when he did, he cast counter-spells on the Fukalty that hurt them the most. His strength is immeasurable, vital during battles, but he is also a keen lover of beverages like Mrigankus but thankfully for us, he never attempted the Forbidden Attack. Other than this, I can tell that he has a clean heart for fellow knights, especially for me and can always be trusted in sticky situations.
Now, who shall I talk about next? Let it be Atulius Kumarus, The Long Horn. Great scholar and Cricket-Kung-Fu Master, he is the epitome of hard work and dedication, one of the gems of my legion. He will not take a horse, or chariot, if he has to move around, he will use only the Public Transport, one that is used by all ordinary men and women, so that he can see firsthand, the condition of the people that we protect. He hails from the great nation of Bi-Har that has its great skilled people spread all over the planet under all sorts of disguises. His one dangerous quality that I have come to know is his fierce competitiveness during any Cricket-Kung-Fu or Volley-Kung-Fu battle or training. It becomes dangerous when it’s during training. He sometimes starts casting wicked spells on fellow knights and his fellow Bi-Haris, and if he loses a battle, he even stops responding to me, the Lord. But he’s one fellow man that I know will achieve his dreams, simply because he deserves it.
Sharadicles, the Legendary Bi-Hari, kin to Atulius, and also known as Kandikus and self-proclaimed King of Bhojpuri-Kung-Fu. He has left his red stallion these days and rides with Kartikus in his chariot when he comes to Asetonia. He’s the biggest in size, but has the softest heart and the hardest head among all the warriors. He is also the nemesis and purge of the little dynamo Prashantus Explodicus, always teasing him with verbal comments and names such as ‘Ba-Boo Man’. He is very loyal to me, and often comes to me for help when faces with challenges from the Fukalty, such the ‘Project’, which I can handle as easily as sleeping, ha ha!!
Kartikus Dancikus, the deceiver, from the southern land of Madrasica, so skilled that he even had me deceived for a few years of his abilities in the Fukalty-Arts. I considered him a genius in those arts but I found out later that his brain is used solely for the purpose of deceiving, and in other matters it’s even smaller and rustier than Mrigankus’ brain. He is the prankster elite and often practices his art on fellow knights, especially on Prashantus and Bhaticus and even me. He has got the job of chariot puller in the last few months where he does his service for Prashantus, Sharadicles, Bhaticus and Akhilus. His laughter has become even more deadly than before, gives me the nightmares sometimes that laugh of his, just think what he does to our enemies.
Where are the hobbits? The little ones, where are they? The two hobbits, Shashantus and Prashantus Explodicus are my most trustworthy knights to say the least. Both have different qualities as you know and only one similarity as you very well too, feminine temptation! Shashantus has gained experience of the highest level when he went to the treacherous land of No-Idea to do some Industrial Spying on the enemy nation. He worked with me disguised as a low-ranked soldier in their intelligence battalion, and did very well; just that he was too busy asking me how to do things than to trust his own ability. He will learn in time, I’m sure and be better than what he thinks he is. He is on another mission these days in which I lead a small squad of knights consisting of Lady Vibhooti and Sir Bansalus, himself and me to create a new weapon made of Ant Bullets. But disappointingly, all of them depend on me to stick my head in the barrel to do the dirty work and they wait to pull the trigger.
Prashantus Explodicus has been busy studying the Fukalty-Arts rather than exploding all the time. He is very soft spoken and feels inferior due to his hobbit-like size, and is menaced by Sharadicles and Kartikus and sometimes Sir Williams and Sir Sabotagicus too. Ba-Boo Man is a name that has stuck to him for sometime due to his inherent inability in the fielding-form of Cricket-Kung-Fu, but I sometimes think that he deserves it. He has acquired a new weapon similar to the small black box of Mrigankus, only it’s more powerful than his, rightly so judging by the size difference of Mrigankus and Prashantus. He also one of the great Bi-Haris and as their characteristic is, he is capable of miracles that only the people of Bi-Har are capable of performing.
Sir Stacy Williams of Najafgreece, the handsome Duke from the land of the Jatans, the limit of adultery and corruption and most beautiful set of canines in all the land. Words are not enough to describe this knight, seriously! His memory power is so strong that I feel that one day he will memorize the names of every person on the planet and recognize them with smell of their shoes. One thing I know now is that he is the simplest of all knights, and having least ego and most forgiving, although he did have a small fight with the fool Harishicus, who is also the arch enemy of Mrigankus and Atulius.
Sir Akhilus Sabotagicus, king of sabotage, corruption (different from Sir William’s Corruption) and also gambling. He got into a new habit of playing the age old gambling games when he used to bet gold, women and property over a few numbers and cards. Well, I may be exaggerating but he is the king in this art, if you can call it an art. He likes menacing the other Fukalty slaves and fellow knights as well, and is as always unbeatable in a verbal battle; I’ve even seen him make people cry without lifting a finger. Bhaticus, Prashantus, Sharadicles (and his Mama) and Shikarpurus are his favorite victims. He’s like a garland of roses for friends but a garland of needles for enemies, even strangers. He’s ruthless in battle, that’s all I can say.
Mohitus Bhaticus Gujjaricus, the ancient philosopher, scholar, mathematician, anthropologist, poet, singer, musician, and ex-Gujjaricus pike man and anything else you can think of. He’s been there and done that. Think of it like this; if you think that you know something, then it’s because he thought of it, that you got to know about it through history. I’m not exaggerating here; he really is one hardworking knight, one of the best in the Batting-form of Cricket-Kung-Fu and truly the most conservative of all. Kartikus would define this conservativeness in own words, which I think he should keep to himself, but I feel this conservativeness lies in his approach to battle, always cautious, holding back his full strength, which is good in a way.
Sir Bansalus, homogeneous in personality, thought and skill. True master of the Fukalty arts, very close to being a slave of the Fukalty but he’s just about a knight too. I found out from Akhilus when they went on a secret mission to Jaipurica, that he specializes in generating deadly Gas Bombs, all without needing any chemical equipment, and can even store the deadly gas in his own body and release it anytime during war just through the natural exit-point. This ability is truly unique that no-one else can master, except maybe Abshekio Gargio may come close to it, or maybe he can generate deadlier laughter bombs. Talking about bombs, I’d like mention the name of another legendary bomb-expert, a non-knight but an ally, Mandalus, who is an expert in making green, eco-friendly semi-solid, long range bombs, that too in different shapes and sizes and free of cost and irrespective of season. How about that for allies??
The last Knight that I would like to talk about is that of Jiten Daar, the self-proclaimed brother knight of Asetonia. He’s got strength and he’s got style, and he’s a self-proclaimed super hit with the women too. Always works in a squad with Atulius, the great Tarunio Mittalio and Mukulus, and is quite touchy too if someone messes with him too much. Although Kartikus and Akhilus find that touchiness quite funny, it may get serious sometimes and lead to his walking away from Cricket-Kung-Fu Training battles and talking to very small black plastic boxes for hours at a stretch. But I find him trustworthy when he’s in his squad and listens most to Atulius.
That’s all for this account of the Knights of Asetonia. I made some revelations about my knights, some I left untold. I did not make any revelations about myself, which is of course, for someone else to write. This is not the end of the Knights of Asetonia tale, we may get separated this year, work on separate and more important missions, missions of life that is, but we will return, the story will return, it’s a promise from Lord Eeshanicus, the leader and champion and creator of the Knights of Asetonia and don’t you forget this promise, because I’ll keep it!!!