I have learned, in 23 years of my existence, that as we grow up, we tend to categorize the people around us into the ones we love and the ones we don’t. But we have to live with the other category as well, being the social animals that we are. Whether we like some people or not, it’s always considered bad to show off your emotions, rather, I know its a sure sign of weakness, and the great power players are the ones who are adept at this art of controlling emotions, and keeping their life simple.
It actually used to be simple when you were a kid. You have your parents, that you love involuntarily, and you have your friends, with whom you play everyday, and they’re a part of your own world of dreams and fantasies. Then you have relatives who treat you like princes and princesses, bestowing gifts on your birthdays, your exam results or any other occasion possible. Then came the teachers, and at least in my case, I loved all of them, they were just so nice! 🙂 It used to be a rosy picture … everywhere you see.
Even during teenage, it was all good, you had other priorities, be it studies or … the other stuff ;), but you were still in that zone where you know everything is safe, everybody knew you were still a kid, and they didn’t expect too much from you, in terms of ethics or manners.
But when you cross that line, that transitions you from a teenager to an ‘adult’, the thing called reality slowly starts to fall upon you, crushing your world and pulling you into the one, where every one else lives. Personally, I didn’t expect things to change that much, I always thought that being an adult would be even more fun, than being a kid or a teenager, that I’d get more freedom, to do what I had to do, without neglecting my duties towards my parents or my loved ones. But it was different, as I’m sure would be the case with most adults my age. Instead of that red carpet welcome into the big league, you get pushed into doing what everyone else expects you to do. And you don’t complain, for the very same reason. If everyone else is doing it, then it’s safe for me to do it as well.
You don’t choose your career, it gets chosen for you, even if nobody actually tells you to choose it, you just follow everyone else, like lambs. It sounds really pessimistic, but I know this is true, at least my part of the world. It is comforting, to live the easy life, it is safe, it is risk free, it has guaranteed returns (everybody likes this phrase nowadays :P). My peers enjoy this comfort, but for me, is disgusting, a cage, a confinement, a failure. And honestly speaking, as of now, I do not have the strength or the courage to break free, you know why? Because now I am bound by emotions, my life not just for my own satisfaction or personal pleasure, it is a symbiotic relationship with so many other individuals that directly or indirectly depend on my existence. It is a chain, of which I am also a link, and it cannot be broken abruptly, if it has to be broken, then the link must be replaced with another one, this is called evolution, this is called heredity, and this is how the cycle of life continues, being pulled by the chain of us living species.
I think I’m going too evolutionary/philosophical here, but you know what, sometimes, deep thinking is like a deep breath for your soul, your inner self. You must allow it to breathe sometimes, and not just be driven by the demands of your body. I did not think of a title for this post, when I started writing, because most of the times, I never think before writing, I write as I think, so now, I think I should call this post, “The Inner Deep Breath”, because after writing, that’s what I felt I did.
My blogosphere friends, please share your thoughts on what could be an inner deep breath for you? How do you go deeper than what you already know about yourself?