Thoughts

The Nightmare

Habits are hard to break, and once you start making an effort to break them, even that becomes a habit, and your real purpose is never fulfilled. I got into a habit of not writing my blogs, and I’ve been trying to come out with a post for a long time. That time has finally come and hopefully this habit is also broken.

This post is about the days that I have lost in the past 4 months, the days which have been costly for me and my family, the days which I hope never to see again.

It all started in May, when my grandfather was getting really ill. He and my grandmother were spending some time at my aunt’s and I, my Mom, Dad and brother were also there to attend a marriage. Grandfather got pretty sick on the wedding day and we had to rush him to the hospital and get him on a drip. He was good enough the next day but his coughing was pretty bad. Even though my uncle was a doctor, he wasn’t really very active in taking care of him. So my mom then decided that we bring him to Delhi and get him treated properly. As intelligent and proactive as my Mom is, she wasted no time in getting his checkups done at the best hospitals, and it finally turned out to be throat cancer.

Nobody was surprised and most did not care for an 80 year old man who chewed tobacco all his life, blessed nobody, not even his family, and cared only for himself. Then again, my Mom who still served my ungrateful grandparents all her married life took the initiative and got his radiation treatment started at Delhi’s best cancer hospital. My dad was responsible for getting him to the hospital and back everyday, while my mom was to make special food items for him and take care of him everyday, even though she’s a working woman, and has her own health issues such as water retention and arthiritis. This went on for 55 days, very hard days, but the old man got a lot of relief and the tumour was almost gone. My mom and dad’s efforts paid off.

Just to let you know, my parents still got no blessings. In the meanwhile, my mom was suffering from acute muscle pain in the legs which only got worse during this time. Our local doctors advised her to get an ultrasound done. She was also having some stomach pain for the past one month, which was pretty rare. I took her in the first week of july, the ultrasound was going OK, till the lady doctor who was conducting the test decided to inspect a bit more. She found a large ovarian cyst, and referred my mom to a gynae as soon as possible. I was freaked, my mom was scared. Dad took mum to her old gynae, Dr Gujral of Sir Ganga Ram Hospital. She was the same one who operated on my mom during my and my brother’s birth (we’re both caeserians). Now she was Vice Chairman, but still knew my mom pretty well, and this old relationship proved to be an asset in the days to come. She advised an MRI Test; we got it done the next day, it turned out thay the cyst was leaving out some tiny execrances. It mean a risk of cancer.

This was almost unbearable for me. How did things get so bad? My Mom has ever been my friend, guide and guru and even the thought of losing her enrages my soul. But I am very much her son, and I did my research thoroughly instead of skulking. It was a bad situation but it could be solved. This was reaffirmed when Dr Gujral prescribed a major operation, total Hysterectomy. But the test for malignancy would be done during the operation itself. We did not waste any time, not even for a second opinion. The cyst was quite large, and it could not be allowed to grow any further. 10 days of pre operative tests and then on 20th July, it was done. The whole scenario was a 7 day ordeal, which was so intense and full of fears, apprehensions and emotions that I do not have the stength to write about it. So, I’ll just skip to part when my Mom was brought back home.

Weakess, pain and suffering. My mom’s companions for a month after the operation. She also had complications such as Allergy, Nerve pain and Typhoid. But the good thing was that we were all there with her, all the time. I, dad and lil bro took leaves on a rotational basis. She was never alone, and was always cared for. The grandparents were sent back to my aunt’s house, where grandfather could get some space and his treatment. Now, my mom is getting better, can move around on her own, cook a little bit, but still on leave, 3 more months of rest and recovery.

I suffered too. It was a nightmare, one that I had not hoped to see at so young an age. For those 7 days, I used to catch the last Metro back home, where I stayed alone, while dad and bro stayed with mom. It was melancholy. I love my mom’s cooking, and was bereft of it for 2 long months!

But during this time of chaos, I somehow managed to keep my activities intact. My office work did not suffer, I managed it pretty well. I got a promotion as well, and it was not even 2 years on the job. I had my personal goal of taking the GMAT. I prepared for it like hell. Mock tests, online forums, books, software, studying in office, in the bus, at night. Mock scores were not too good. I used to give mocks while taking care of mom, so it wasn’t that I got any silent time at all. But on the day, I put my heart and mind to it. The long 4 hours took everything out of me, my head was aching like anything. I scored 690 overall, with a perfect score in AWA, and 7 in IR. For those who know, I nailed it.

And now the task is upon me to enable myself to rise. A lot of work needs to be done, a lot of risk is yet to be taken, and I just pray to god that some luck be on my side, the rest, I can handle.

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2 thoughts on “The Nightmare

  1. God brings us into deep water not to drown us, but to cleanse us. Every situation we face in life is like an exam. It tests what we have learned till now and teaches us something new. And you have proved yourself in each of those tests God put you through. and you shall keep doing it all along.

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